Who Are You Letting Into Your Inner Circle?

January 9, 2015

I remember when I was younger and I would spend my afternoons hanging out with my friends down the road.


That’s the generic Caribbean term that could mean anywhere on your island.

So we would all get together on our bikes ride around, chill out, talk about girls, do foolishness and just waste time.

Here’s what was interesting – the more I spent time with them, the more I started speaking like them, doing the things they were doing and not doing the things they weren’t doing.

Of course, this can be good or bad depending on the friends.

Vid_Inner-Circle-(2)This is a pattern that I’ve seen throughout my life. Yes, I have my own values, but as I spend time around different groups of people, you actually begin to change.

When I hung around people who were partying like crazy, all of a sudden, I wanted to party like crazy and that’s exactly what I did.

When I hung around people who were very much into Bible Study and enriching their spiritual lives, all of a sudden, I started caring more about Bible study and my spiritual life.

A few months ago, I joined a mastermind group with some of the best marketers I know.

These guys are upstanding and very successful guys who think differently from most of the people I’ve encountered throughout my relatively short lifetime.

We get together every week and share what we’re doing while getting input from the other members of the group.

As a result of that group, the way I look business and life in general has changed dramatically and I’m a better person for it.

Here’s the truth:

By beholding you become changed

If you show me the people you spend the most time with on a regular basis, you will be showing me a lot about yourself.

If the people in your inner circle are always negative and getting into trouble, regardless of how upstanding of a person you are, you WILL be affected. And you’ll probably be wondering why you’re always down, or why nothing positive ever happens to you.

And if the people in your inner circle are positive and uplifting, you WILL be affected. If they are constantly pushing you to be the best you can be, chances are, you’re becoming a better person.

So my question for you is simple – who are you allowing into your inner circle? Think about it.

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15 Comments

  • lucrecer says:

    Leslie, I had to kick a lot of people out of all of my circles the past few years. You are so right, you end up acting like the people you are around the most without even thinking about it. I definitely more conscious of who I allow in my circles and especially who I allow in my inner circle. Blessings to you, my friend.

  • EfficientLeader says:

    I have been wondering if the podcasts and the blog emails that I get count as my inner circle. Sometimes these folks like you feel like my friend. Or do I have to have 2 way conversations and real people to level up? Obviously real and specific feedback would be better. But when you have a busy life, and have to choose to do 2 real meetups a week (that we discuss lots of topics or slow networking events) or should I go with 10 motivational inputs a week (and I delete the non relevant ones).

    • They definitely can be depending on the kind of influence they have on you. I’m the same way with my podcasts. I used to listen to a bunch. Now, only a select few.

  • Glen Smyth says:

    Hi Leslie. Thanks for the great video! I just interviewed Amanda Stevens on my podcast who is an Aussie expert on marketing to women, and she explained that even from a marketing perspective, women also have an ‘inner circle’…2 or 3 other female friends who they confide, share and relate to…particularly because women are staying single for much longer in their lives now! If you can reach one of these women…you often also reach their inner circle too! Just another twist on the inner circle concept when it comes to marketing your blog! Hope life is going great for you and I look forward to catching up again soon!

  • Back2naure4life says:

    This is something I definitely had to learn, birds of a feather flock together, you mirror the people you hang with. When I started to change, b/c I was not happy with how my life was, the crabs will try to stop you. I was determined to have a better life, one by one the old circle dropped away. There was a point that I had no friends and then due to me taking action on my new life, new friends appeared. You are so right you become the people you hang with, without realising it you influence each other, you take on the same energy. The people you are interacting with now is great, that is exactly the same for me.

    • Sometimes it’s a difficult lesson to learn, but it’s a good one to learn. Glad to hear that you were able to get new friends. Sometimes our journeys take us in new directions, and that’s a.o.k, as long as it’s for the right reason.

    • Back2naure4life says:

      Yeah I have met a couple of people with similar interest who I am building friendships with, bit by bit. I always new I wanted more from life, not just a mundane job. I was seeking information and I found, then my spiritual path began along with many changes in my life, now I am living purposefully from my heart. With my old friends it was a natural transition such as one went back to where she was born in another city, we tried to stay in touch but b/c of the changes I was going through, the relationship broke down. Another one, we just did not get along, no interest in the same thing lost. I could see it coming with this one, I tried to save it, but it was not to be, I was on a new vibration. We actually argued for the first time to the end. I also found they were trying to hold me back from my goal, you know that crab in the bucket mentality, I have a short vid on my channel about this. Music is still coming, practicing right now, it will follow on with a lot of dancing. Will give you heads up when it goes viral very soon.

    • Yep, changes happen and we roll with the punches. Glad to hear you are still able to rise above.

  • I personally don’t let anybody too close. Of course this doesn’t mean that I am not open to do so, however I prefer to keep some small secrets for me and my business just for myself. Probably due to fact, that I’ve never been able to find a good and reliable partners.

  • Guest says:

    I don’t think you’re over-reacting but I think overall the reaction isn’t taken seriously.

    Here are a few overlooked situations:

    1) re-pinning images to create boards on sites like pinterest. Many of the initial images could have been stolen initially and by the time you repin you think that image theft isn’t an issue. How many people actually read the TOS?
    2) YT videos that are left with embed code capability turned on. If you don’t want your video used on other sites, make sure embed is turned off.
    3) Popular YT videos showing up on foreign domains alongside questionable and even pornographic content. Make sure you do a periodic search and check and see where your videos are showing. (especially if you have children in them)
    4) What about sites that are ranking high in major engines, but it’s obvious and clear that the overwhelming images and content are stolen. Is anyone watching or reporting?
    5) How about sites where it’s obvious images and content are taken from offline books without attribution?

    It’s a sad and complex situation. Everyone wants entertaining sites with lots of information, but unfortunately in a zeal to build sites fast and rank high sites are rewarded by readers and even search engines. So the issue of copying comes down to your own personal ethics and integrity.

    Thanks for making a video. I wonder how bloggers can stay motivated to produce content when you know that your work will be stolen?

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